Shadowing Brené Brown

Summary

Brené Brown reflects on the exposure she felt after her earlier talk became widely viewed, then examines the relationship between vulnerability, courage, and shame. She argues that emotional risk is necessary for creativity and change, while shame can stop people from entering situations where they might fail. Drawing on her research and personal encounters, she distinguishes shame from guilt, discusses gendered expectations, and presents empathy as a way to restore connection and make vulnerability more possible.

Key points, in order

1. Brown describes vulnerability as emotional risk, exposure, and uncertainty. She challenges the tendency to call it weakness in ourselves while recognizing it as courage in other people.
2. Shame attacks the person’s sense of worth, whereas guilt concerns a particular action. Brown reports different associations between these experiences and harmful behaviors, and describes accountability for conduct as more constructive than self-condemnation.
3. Her research discussion contrasts expectations that women do everything perfectly with expectations that men never appear weak. A conversation after a book signing prompts her to investigate men’s experiences more directly.
4. Secrecy, silence, and judgment sustain shame in her account; empathic recognition weakens it. She closes by urging people to participate before they feel flawless or invulnerable, allowing others to meet them in the uncertainty.

Five useful phrases to practise

Choose a caption line to open Repeat mode. Listen, then say it after the speaker.

1. 3:51 The first is: vulnerability is not weakness.
2. 4:43 I define vulnerability as emotional risk, exposure, uncertainty.
3. 5:56 vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.
4. 14:02 Shame is a focus on self, guilt is a focus on behavior.
5. 19:14 The two most powerful words when we're in struggle: me too.

Based on the video’s captions. Original video: Listening to shame | Brené Brown | TED · TED.

Everyday phrases from this video

• not really
• so far
• I'm sorry

• Level: B2
• Accent: American
• Length: 21 min · 248 lines to practise
• Speed: about 141 words a minute (an average pace)
• Words: about 2,810; the talk asks 24 questions
• Timing: Sada measures how far behind the speaker you are on every line

What to focus on in this talk

Keep shame and guilt distinct as you practise the explanations of each.

What this talk trains

Brené Brown speaks for about 21 minutes: roughly 2,810 words in 248 caption lines. The pace picks up as the talk goes on, from about 135 words a minute in the first quarter to 151 in the last. Overall it is faster than 10 of the other 66 talks on Sada. Its sentences average 12.4 words, no longer than the middle of the library (14.3), and 15.6% of its words fall outside the 3,000 most common English words (library middle: 12.9%). It asks 24 questions, so there is plenty of question intonation to copy. Phrases that fast speech often shortens come up again and again: “going to” (13 times) and “want to” (5 times).

Lines from across the talk, and what each one trains

One line from each quarter of the talk. Press a line to open it in Sada, ready to record. “Linking” marks words that run together: a word ending in a consonant sound joins the vowel that starts the next one.

1. 1:47 I said, "Do you remember when we were in college, really wild and kind of dumb?"

   “kind of”: fast speech often shortens it to “kinda”. Listen for whether the speaker does here. A question: listen to where the voice rises or falls at the end, and copy it.

2. 5:38 What would you like for me to talk about?

   “would you”: fast speech often shortens it to “wouldja”. Listen for whether the speaker does here. A question: listen to where the voice rises or falls at the end, and copy it.

3. 15:05 If shame washes over me and washes over Chris, it's going to feel the same.

   “going to”: fast speech often shortens it to “gonna” when a verb follows. Listen for whether the speaker does here. Linking: say “washes over”, “washes over” without a break between the words.

4. 17:15 When we reach out and be vulnerable, we get the shit beat out of us.

   “out of”: fast speech often shortens it to “outta”. Listen for whether the speaker does here. Linking: say “out and”, “beat out”, “out of” without a break between the words.

Words that keep coming up

Words outside the 3,000 most common English words that Brené Brown uses more than once. The number is how often each is said. Look up any you don’t know, then press it to practise the line where it first comes up.

• shame ×38
• vulnerability ×26
• vulnerable ×6
• arena ×6
• guilt ×6
• researcher ×4
• breakdown ×4
• weakness ×4

How the pace changes through the talk

The fastest minute starts at 12:10 (about 177 words a minute): practise that minute once the rest feels easy. The slowest starts at 5:29 (about 93): a good minute to warm up with.

Measured from the caption timing, so the numbers are close, not exact.

How the talk opens: press any line to practise it

1. 0:14 I'm going to tell you a little bit about my TEDxHouston Talk.
2. 0:17 I woke up the morning after I gave that talk with the worst vulnerability hangover of my life.
3. 0:26 And I actually didn't leave my house for about three days.
4. 0:32 The first time I left was to meet a friend for lunch.
5. 0:35 And when I walked in, she was already at the table.
6. 0:38 I sat down, and she said, "God, you look like hell."

How to practise this talk

1. Warm up on the slowest minute (from 5:29) or on the opening lines above.
2. Then take the chosen lines above one at a time: a shortened phrase, a question, linked words.
3. On each line, press Record and say it after Brené Brown (Repeat) or along with them (Shadow), then open Compare and go again until every word is green.
4. Save the fastest minute (from 12:10, about 177 words a minute) for last.
5. At one minute a day you finish the whole talk in about 21 days, and Sada shows your first try against your latest.

More talks to practise

• Brené Brown — Brené Brown on Empathy (B2 · 132 words a minute · same speaker)
• Brené Brown — The Power of Vulnerability (B2 · 154 words a minute · same speaker)
• J.K. Rowling — Harvard Commencement: The Fringe Benefits of Failure, and the Importance of Imagination (B2 · 139 words a minute · same level)
• Dan Pink — The Puzzle of Motivation (B2 · 149 words a minute · same level)

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